What is your greatest Challenge right now?

[Deborah Berry]

What is your greatest Challenge? 

What is your greatest Desire?

Please share with us your greatest challenge and your greatest desire. I want to create a regular "support group" on TBI Survivors Network, and support our friends who have survived TBI and associated Disabilities. My intention is each week is to answer personal questions and link you to other groups or association that can help you help yourself. Please help me with an idea's you have. I am open to suggestions. My intention is to answer at least three people per week personally, including the most requested need and desire with your goal to be happy and successful. In the meantime as I always say, "Be Kind to Your Self"

Deborah :)

[Joseph Barney]

My greatest challenge is energy. I'm tired a lot and need coffee a lot. My greatest desire is a career. I want to make good money on my own.

[David Day]

My greatest challenge, as a post 9 year caregiver, is the anger displayed by my son.It is getting increasingly worse and he won't speak to myself or my wife. He has physically abused his girlfriend, which is waaaaaay out of character for him. He is a very kind and gentle person. He has changed his phone number and deleted us from his contact info. We are SOOOOOO lost and not sure where to turn. 

[Deborah Berry]

Dear Joseph, I am sorry to be getting back to you months down the tract. In October I had a fall which set me back in a huge way but I am here once again. I would like to focus on the subject of energy. Energy is a big issue for many TBI Survivors. Energy comes from many different areas: Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual resources.

The brain is a physical organ which controls our emotions and mental capacity. As a whole being we operate on many levels and each one of us have our own individual chemistry. It is all trail and error but more so I have found there is no one answer in finding a balance to maintain an inner synergy.

Physical: Feeding the body with healthy food that nourishes the brain is necessary, along with a healthy diet that supports an alkaline system. Acid food create inflammation which increase pain and other dysfunctions of the body and brain. We can take all the vitamins and minerals in the world but if we consume food that is high in additives and artificial colors etc then we are defeating the purpose. This is just the beginning and there is so much more to look at. Our body is mostly water and we need to drink more water than any other fluid. We need to flush out our kidneys and liver which will support our bodies operating system. If you are on medication.. even more so. Detoxing is vital. Cut out sugar and high intakes of Carbs. Lots of green vegies... juices etc.

For the brain: This is great, Gindgo Biloba and Red Panax Ginseng Extract
Stress: Reduce stress. Yes we hear this everyday. It sounds so simple.. and it is. Start with being kind to you. Take time each day to do something creative, listen to soothing music and watch nature in someway. (the sun setting, a water fall, fish in a tank or wonder in the garden, walk in the park) Investigate, go on line and look at all the options to reduce stress. Toxic people and situations will effect you more than you can imagine. Seek out support groups and learn new techniques in finding balance and harmony in your life.

These are only a few idea's. We are very simple creatures... and very complexed. Our body is like a matrix of energy levels. One avenue is not enough and what works this month will have a different outcome for you next month. Our body is always healing... so we need new methods to support its progress. One thing people forget is. We are either GROWING... BEING STAGNANT OR OUR BODY IS DYING... it is part of life. When we are suffering, we are depleting our system. Happiness and goals are not always easy to achieve in the short term however finding peace in each moment... in a simple way accumulates... it takes time to change old unhealthy habits and exchange them for healthy ones.

Survival is a struggle for many of us... We start off with being a victim... then a survivor... in time we learn to be a thriver (growing in body, mind and spirit) Make small goals for yourself every week... little ones you know you can achieve. Be kind to yourself, seek patience and take one day at a time.

I am going to be posting on this site once a week with idea's, resources and support. I look forward in hearing from you again soon.

If you have a specific question please feel free to ask. It won't take another four months. In reference to work.. I will come back and share with you my philosophy on living your dreams and attracting abundance.

Joseph Barney said:

My greatest challenge is energy. I'm tired a lot and need coffee a lot. My greatest desire is a career. I want to make good money on my own.

[David Day]

Thanks Debora for your quick response. Cody's automobile accident happened Feb. 29th, 2004. There was alcohol involved. We were out of state when the accident occurred ( Michigan) so our church and close friends and family were in Texas. We had tremendous support from the people from Michigan, but its not ever the same as being at home. Soooo, the only support we had was our true faith in God. We do have a counselor. He s also our Pastor. He has given us a tremendous amount of insight but he does not know the full impact that a TBI creates. My wife and I were Cody's caregiver, for his period of rehab. He is 31 and very independent. Only once, since his accident, has he shared all of his memory loss issues to me. I just didn't understand how bad they really were. It began to sink in, how much he REALLY STRUGGLES. We were best friends. Now, it's like we are worse enemies. I called him out, when i found out he hit his girlfriend. He truly understood how my wife and i feel about family violence. It has always been unacceptable and he knows that. We have 3 other sons as well and they explained their stand on this as well. We feel, Cody thinks we have all turned our backs on him. Therefore the distance. 

David Day said:

My greatest challenge, as a post 9 year caregiver, is the anger displayed by my son.It is getting increasingly worse and he won't speak to myself or my wife. He has physically abused his girlfriend, which is waaaaaay out of character for him. He is a very kind and gentle person. He has changed his phone number and deleted us from his contact info. We are SOOOOOO lost and not sure where to turn. 

[John Donne]

My greastest challenge is social. And talking. i can't talk like an adult.

My greatest desire is get a girlfriend I've never had one. and i'm in my 30s. And also my greatest desire is not to become homeless.

[Karody]

Unremitting headaches.  Every sleep deprivation, forgetting to eat, or virus exascerbates my persistant headache.  I spend several days flat on my back in pain.  I am young, fit, and I want to live a young, fit lifestyle, but my life is continually interrupted for days on end by these headaches.  They are very localized to the site of my intraparenchymal hemmhorage.  People think I am lazy, although before this accident I was the primary breadwinner, athlete, and mother to two children.  Now I can't work anymore because of my headaches.

[Deborah Berry]

Hi Karody, I am sorry to hear you are suffering headaches that never seem to end. I can relate and suffered for years eventually discovering ways to change the suffering. I am happy to hear you are young and fit. Headaches are not easy to identify and pinpoint however there are steps over time you can take to break the cycle. Firstly, I would like to start with this. Who cares what others think? You know the truth. That is what matters.

About YOU! You will find your way back to feeling productive again like many of us who have survived and now thrive doing what we love. Yes it is tough sometimes however the state you are in will change and it can change for the better. I don't know you circumstances however little by little you can utilize those skills you acquired as an athlete and mother to be free of these challenges that have you bound. Now looking at tools to support you. Please Karody do you mind sharing with me what you have tried in lessoning your headache and what care you are under right now. From there I would like to take you through some steps. How open are you in trying alternative methods. I look forward in your response. My goal is to reply each week to these posts.

In the meantime think about things you can do to be kind to yourself. What does that mean? Write a list of little things you can do now that bring about a smile inside and out. This may seem small.. but it is the small steps that have helped me and many others who have been faced with pain, grief and injury.

here is a link to some free audio I am working on putting together my programs to help people like you everyday. I hope these help just a little FREE INSPIRATIONAL AUDIOS

Love and Light Deborah 

[Karody]

Thanks so much, Deborah!  I am just so tired of being tired :).  I have done lots of things I think to help with the headaches.  I take a lot of vitamins because I am also a breast cancer survivor (2009 when I was 35).  Because of that, I am also post menopausal (hysterectomy/oophorectomy), but can't take hormonal supplements, so that could have some effect on my head too.  Plus I take Arimidex ("anti-estrogen") and Effexor, which also both headache as a side effect.  I have tried taking imitrex or maxalt for the headaches, but neither seem to help at all.  I don't feel like ibuprofen helps much, but I take it a lot anyway :).  The only thing that seems to bring me any relief is hydrocodone, but it really only takes the edge off and makes it somewhat tolerable.  I do not require the pain pills every day just once every week or two when I am battling a super bad headache.  When I am fighting a really bad one (as I am now) all I can do is take a pain pill, apply and icepack to my head or neck and apply pressure with my hands.  I just did a skating party for my 10 year old daughters birthday, but by the time we left the skating rink it felt like there is an icepick stuck in my head.  There is nearly a constant mild to moderate head and neck pain, with a severe icepick, very localized pain.  In fact, I feel like my pain is so specific to the area of where I had the bleed, I could draw a picture of it. 

Thanks for any ideas you can give me.

 

[David Reaves]

My biggest challenge right now is my job I work for tmobile customer loyalty they have high standards and requirements on phone calls I'm having troubles with useing the basic things such as acknowlodgement concerne and ownership

[Karody]

David, I have no patience since my injury and I just can't imagine being able to do that job.  Kudos to you for trying to work through it.  I would probably lose my temper and get fired :).

[David Reaves]

My biggest desire is to trust other people and not think that they have ulterior motives I see other people interacting at work and being (friends) and I wonder how do I do that, ive tried but get lost or feel really uncomfortable and send mixed signals I have no problem talking business or about me though.

[David Reaves]

When did he have his head injury




David Day said:

My greatest challenge, as a post 9 year caregiver, is the anger displayed by my son.It is getting increasingly worse and he won't speak to myself or my wife. He has physically abused his girlfriend, which is waaaaaay out of character for him. He is a very kind and gentle person. He has changed his phone number and deleted us from his contact info. We are SOOOOOO lost and not sure where to turn.