Unexpected problems with diffuse axonal tbi

[Matt Ioerger]

I have experienced a lack in my sex drive and a loss of interest in next to everything I use to be passionate about. Will this return? Or can I count on all of this just being for life? Will I ever remember the accident either? I don't remember from the whole week of the accident all the way to 5 days before I left the hospital when I spent 7 weeks there. Does this come back? Really don't know how usual all this is but comment if you have any information or are experiencing similar things.

[Richard J]

Time is on your side. Memory, sex drive, loss of interest does come back, but it is very "normal" to have normal daily thoughts & experiences to disappear and then come roaring back. Find a new hobby, or play music albums you haven't played for many years to help wake up those missing pieces. I was in a hospital for 3 months, been nearly 9 years ago when I left, & I only remember the last 3 weeks at all, But in my opinion it doesn't matter at all, because I remember almost everything else, whether it's before my injury or after I came home. You will recover more & more everyday. Believe in yourself.

[Matt Ioerger]

Thanks for your input boss. Your right, just be thankful the rest of my life's memory is still there. Never really thought about how lucky that is. Thanks, and awesome to hear that it will come back.

[mary lutz]

I wish there was a definate answer to your question, but I have not found one. I have had similiar issues, and the passion does come back but still wax and wanes, like returning to work. I get all gung ho and find suitable job listing, then the next day, the little voice of lack of confidence prevents me from moving forward to apply.

I think after the injury, we are not quite integrated. We have fears because we feel what we have lost and it reaks havoc on our esteem. We are challenged with an internal arguement. If we believe we cannot accomplish, its hard to have passion. Keep disputing any negative messages you are giving yourself.

Also, If we think of Maslows Hierarchy of needs, we know that we must feel saftety and security to move to the next level. After injuries, many have various fears that interfere with moving forward. It may be change in financial, loosing a spouse, how we will survive, being a burden to others, etc. These fears get in the way of passion.

Be gentle on yourself, use positive self talk, and affirm your attributes daily. Identify your worth. Over time, I think most people are able to regain those passions.

[Andrew Gray]

Hi Matt. I am in close to the same place you are. I lack interest in everything including sex. I fell from a ladder at work, which I remember coming to on the floor and then it was 2 weeks later. My fall was 11 months ago. I am told this is not much time but it feels like forever to me. I get a little better then I flatten out i get a little better I flatten out but the flats get longer and longer. Somethings have not improved cognitive which has caused anger.It's easy to talk about the anger thing but hard to stop it, try you lose friends and family. I hope it comes back before there is nobody left. Good luck in your recovery.

[Matt Ioerger]

Thanks Andrew and Mary. This is all helpful, reminding me that there is still hope. I read somewhere that 30 percent of people with a diffuse axonal or even traumatic brain injury suffer a loss in their pituitary section of the brain. I know nothing about the body or mind but this part drives sex and growth hormones along with body odor. My sex drive is gone my body odor has changed but I still have a rapid young increase in muscle when I work out. Went from no pushups to 10 in a month. 135 bench to 205 in a month and no leg strength to a lot very quickly. Still don't know what to make of it all and Andrew, months do feel like forever. Awful part is I can't get any financial help to sooth my endless days. Here at 2 a.m. writing as I can't sleep as usual. Applied for unemployment but according to them I am disabled, Reapplied to my old job but they're not hiring nor is anybody else close. I need work close because I still can't drive by myself, go figure there are openings in delivery driving close lol. Disability I don't think is gonna come through and the time you must wait is far too long. So work-less and bored I remain day after day waiting for things to get better. I have a very supportive family and group of friends though, glad they all help as much as they do or it would be unbearable just existing with nobody there. October it'll be a year and I hope I feel like me again by than.

[Joel Page]

I had a diffuse axonal TBI too, 20/3/10, it does mess with everything, I spent 5 months comatose too. All I can say is from my experience, everything is getting better every day, lucky as it may be, I've never had issues with loss of sex drive, loss of drive for ANYTHING has been experienced though. My advice, just don't worry about things, and think yourself lucky to have someone to Practise your sex drive on!

[Matt Ioerger]

haha sooooo true. She spent every day in the hospital oct 8th to december 17th wishing for me. Was her chance to leave but she didn't. Man need to get back to work soon

[Joel Page]

As for remembering the accident, (or crash in my case), I believe your brain is just protecting itself, I can remember vividly about 2 weeks b4 my crash, but then some things even earlier my brain "doesn't want to remember, I have a black spot in my memory of about 6 months, and hey, I've been told not to worry about it, and I don't, as long as your functional memory works, i.e. u can remember where u have been, where u have to go, etc. Some ppl with TBI's need to keep a diary and even notes around the house, cause they have a memory span of hours, I have some unfortunate fds like this. So I think, you'll remember if/when u need too, my advice DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE ACCIDENT!