just realy fricken depressed about my situation

[Douglas Dunning]

This TBI thing suckes so bad

Not only did I drive my wife away but her family, which was my family or the only one that I had left except for my mom. Family is the most important thing in the world to me and now I only have my mom who is showing signs of dementia and her age is quickly catching up to her.

And let it be said that if a TBI is difficult  for  normal people to understand ? imagine someone with dementia, I already have bad memory issues  now add to that some one who has dementia  and wow what a ride .

I think that I am going to go see a social worker at the health department since I cant work and see if there is any financial assistance that I can get to get out of this house before I go completely insane

Does any one have any experience with this. please

at 47 I only have my mother I lost my side of the family over the past 5 years

and in one fall swoop lost my in-laws and step kid's. and relay don't have any one to confide in other than y'all. and to much reading on this machine hurts my head

Thanks Doug the ventor

[Vicky Varichak]

Hey Ventor - Vent away, but do follow through with seeking help from every agency and service available.  I encourage you to make that your "job" for right now; try to find every sort of help you can and once you have done that you can share that with others.  When you are at the health department look around for brochures etc.  lots of things exsist that people don't tell you about because most people working in social services are just overwhelmed. Ask lot of questions of the social service people you come in contact with.  Make a list of all th things you could use help with and give copies to any of the providers and helping professionals you coe in contact with. 

You didn't drive your wife or family away - the results of your injury did that.  Frankly that "sucks", but you are alive, you have skills, you can think and feel, you have a life - don't give up on it.  I can be a pretty good listener if you need one. 

[Douglas Dunning]

HI Vicky  you were the first person that responded to my first post months ago... thank you for that....

your advice is as encouraging as it was the first time that I read your reply

I want you to know that you saved my life that night...  I had decided to cash in my chips so to speak.

your warm kind reply is the only thing that stopped me.  really not doing a whole lot better but I am more positive and still trying THANK YOU your new friend Doug looking at this photo who could deny that ther is a God And that he  has a plan

[Douglas Dunning]

[Debi]

Hey Doug:

I just read your blog and I think we can all relate in some form or fashion about driving family/friends away. Vicky is right, it wasn't you and was what happened to you. Some people just choose to not deal with it which must make it easier for them, like it doesn't exist. It does exist and now you have to live with it. I would also encourage you to find out about as many agencies and help that is available to you in your state. You are not alone, we are all here for you just give a shout-out. I encourage you to find yourself again and do what you enjoy, the little things in life are immeasurable. Take care and blessings....

Debi

[Geo Gosling]

Douglass,

It is good to vent. I think it is necessary...just don't hurt anyone or yourself. I suffered a TBI in 1995 when I was 25 years old. I am now 42 years old and yes, this TBI thing does suck. It sucks so much I wrote a book about it entiled, "TBI Hell - A Traumatic Brain Injury Really Sucks." The whole book is me venting about s!@#.

Every aspect of life is affected, and none of it in a positive way, but there is nothing you can do about it except do the best you can. Well, I suppose you could kill yourself but that is certainly not recommended.

I can't speak about driving a wife (I'm not married) or in-laws away, and I can't speak about having a mother with dementia, so I couldn't help you at all there. But I can tell you that the brain does heal somewhat (well actually it "adapts") and things do get better. I wrote another book entitled, "TBI Purgatory - Comes After Being In TBI Hell" and it shows that life does improve with time...lots of time, unfortunately. The following links are where you can get my books (and please do):

Paperback versions:

Click here for My first book: "TBI Hell - A Traumatic Brain Injury ...

Click here for my second book: "TBI Purgatory - Comes After Being I...

eBook versions:

Click here for TBI Hell on Google eBooks

Click here for TBI Purgatory on Google eBooks

Click here for TBI Hell for iTunes

Click here for TBI Purgatory for iTunes

I think you will enjoy both of these books. Warning: They are not "rah-rah", "Go get 'em," Everything will turnout fine" books. They tell it like it is...and it sucks. But you just have to deal with it. That is all you, me, and anyone with an injured brain can do.

[BARB GEORGE]

Hi Doug,

I am so glad you vented here--it is so important!  First of all, it helps to release the junk in our minds... and you know--someone else out there is either going through the same thing, OR has before... We are all learning from one another.  

If there is any sort of a support group around you--go if you can.  You can be helped and be helpful there... If not one, maybe try to even start one-- even two people out for coffee can be such a true help.  

I have spent a good part of my nearly 8 years after my accident in the 'anger zone'.  Oh, I have had good moments, but they have been shadowed many times along the way.  One thing I found out--one of my medications became out of whack, and nearly put me in the ground.  After working just dandy for a year, it bit me back, terribly.  Because of my brain, it never occurred to me that it could be the meds!  I didn't remember all the stuff of the inserts and instructions, heck!  I was lucky to remember my name by that point!  

As for family and friends, they may come back.  They may not.  I too have lost what I thought were good friends.  And my only sibling has been totally useless--she is a 'taker not a giver'.  HOWEVER.  I have found friendships through this community that have been such a wonderful support to me.  I learn, gain ground, fall back, fall forward... but they are here, by my side.  

Sending you huge hugs.

Barb