Is this as good as it gets?

[Nick Smith]

Hello. So in June of 2011, I was assaulted from behind while walking in to a McDonalds. At the time I was intoxicated, as I was coming back from the Fremont St Experience in Las Vegas. I was brought to the hospital after complaining about severe dizziness and head pain. CT scan showed a contusion and hematoma on the left frontal lobe. I was there for 3 days before they released me, as the bleed was not getting any worse. I went home and stayed in bed, only getting up to use the restroom, shower and eat for the first month. In the beginning of August, I was feeling back to my normal self. So I started working again, drinking and living a normal life. Then in September, I woke up one morning with strange symptoms. Dizziness, numbness in hands and face, trouble thinking and concentrating, memory problems and other things. One night I woke up feeling very scared and out of my mind....so I went to the ER. I explained what was going on with me and told them about the sudden symptoms. They told me I have Post-Concussion Syndrome.

So here I am, almost 7 months post injury. I'm miserable. My cognitive problems have not improved, I have trouble remembering things, I have massive anxiety and panic attacks, I have a hard time learning things, can't follow along when people talk to me, I have trouble doing multi-step tasks like cooking, I can't watch TV for more than 20 minutes without becoming a space cadet, I can't play video games for more than 2 minutes or I become very very foggy....basically I can't do anything and I don't feel like I'm getting any better. I have a neurologist that I'm seeing, but he's no help. He doesn't even tell me what I should be doing to improve my recovery. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression as my day revolves around thinking about how bad my symptoms are, I tried cognitive behavioral therapy and I felt like it was pointless. I couldn't even keep up with what the guy was talking about, even though he kept it simple and I could only remember one thing we talked about.

I'm eating 3 meals a day, I've been taking Vitamin C, B12, Brain Power, One-a-Day every day for 2 months now, I drink tons of vitamin water and Powerade, I don't drink alcohol or do any drugs or smoke cigarettes. I usually just stay home and do nothing because when I go out my brain becomes overwhelmed.

Is this as good as it gets? I know it takes awhile to heal but since I don't feel like i've been making any improvements, could this be what i have to live with for the rest of my life? I want to go back to work. I have an 8 month old son that needs me. I had to cancel my enrollment to medical school because there is no way my brain can handle the stress loads of school.....What do I do? Is 6 almost 7 months too soon to tell? Is there still room for improvement or what? I'm really frustrated.

Any help and incite would be appreciated.

[Geo Gosling]

It will get better...slowly, emphasis on slowly. I don't know much about how your brain was injured, and it certainly was injured, but it takes a lot of time for improvements to happen. That sounds depressing, and I guess it is, but there is not much you can do about it, except be patient. I suffered a very severe TBI and I found that reading immeasurably helped my brain function. I started out reading comics - that's about all I could handle. Now I can read Louis Lamour, Tom Clancy, Dan Brown...anybody. I do have to go back occasionally and figure out who a certain character is and what the hell their doing because I forgot, but that's it.

Going out in public overwhelmed me too...at first, but over time that totally went away and I make it a point to go out at least once every day. Staying at home and doing nothing is probably the absolute worst thing you could do. If you must stay at home at least do something...anything. I was 25 years old and stuck living at home with my parents. I had to do something, but I couldn't physically do much (I also technically broke my neck - just fractured three vertebrae) except sit in front of my computer. So...I wrote a book. I have since written another book. The first book is just me "venting" about all the shit I had to deal with because my brain was injured. Then I wrote another book after I was able to move out on my own. So it does get better...with time.

Click here for My first book: "TBI Hell - A Traumatic Brain Injury ...

Click here for my second book: "TBI Purgatory - Comes After Being I...

Both books can be download from Google eBooks and both books are available from (or in?) iTunes.

"TBI Purgatory" is also available for the Kindle.

Geo Gosling

P.S. My TBI happened in 1995 and I am still making slight improvements, but it has been what...15, 16 years? I couldn't walk, brush my teeth or dress myself after 7 months.

[Sherry brill]

Everybody heals differently. How much u will get back is uncertain. It will only get better if u make it better. Pills won't make u happy only u can. Get into a support group. See a psychiatrist that specializes in tbi's. Talk to people that have a tbi. Just talking to someone who is going/went through what u are can be extremely helpful. Many of us will give u our phone number and be there for u. Ur on the right track with eating and no alcohol. Get some exercise. Go for a walk. If u get anxiety being outside start slow. If it's too cold outside. Walk the mall. That will also help u become used to people again. Never over do it or u will have to start over. Keep a journal. Write down how u feel for the day and what u did. U can go back and read what u wrote. Then u will see improvement. We have short term memory loss so we tend not to remember the little things we improve on. Be patient with yourself. U will improve with time. Start a hobby to keep u busy and to help ur brain. Start with a puzzle. U can walk away from it if u can't concentrate but make yourself go back to it and finish. Mostly time is what's needed. And yes u have too much of it. Unwell continue to heal for years. Learn to like the new you. Play with ur baby. U are able to be there to watch him/her grow. Count that as a blessing. Maybe someday u can return to work. Buts that's not today or tomorrow. so quit worrying about it. If u want to improve help yourself improve. It's hard but it will be worth it.

[Nick Smith]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess I'm just getting impatient and not realizing that I should be thankful to be alive. I might not be right in the head, but I am still alive and I get to watch my son grow up. 

[Debbie Wilson]

Have you tried any of the software neuropsyche games like Thinkfast? I know there are many out now, but when I felt like I needed the most help the quiet of a room and the cognitive software probably took me farther faster than anything else I found.

[Joyce]

it gets so much better, you are a newby, it just takes time but it does get better -- it took me 3 years before things started getting better but every year since it has gotten better

[DENISE ALDRICH]

Hi nick,

It does get better but not very fast.....what testing have you had? Reason I ask is some of your symptoms sound like my vestibular problems....I know u said u r on anxiety meds I agree u needs to find a psychiatrist who specializes in tbi, I take adderal for concentration and motivation and it helps me somewhat. I know ow u feel I have three kids and it's been 2 years fr me I still get lost and don't know what to do in my own house, I'm supervised because like u I can't cook without burning or being distracted and forgetting what I was doing. I do play word games a lot to keep my brain active....it will get better u just need to get hooked up with the right doctors...if your in Vegas I can get u a name of a great vestibular therapist if you do have problems or maybe he can refer you to some good tbi doctors let me know if I can help. Hang in there we are all here fr u....Denise

[BARB GEORGE]

Hi Nick, 

I also would reccamend the book "I'll Carry The Fork" by Kara Swanson.  I know it is available for the Kindle (which you can get an AP for your regular computer.  You might be able to find it on Amazon too-

I will echo that it will take TIME.  No one told me that it could be a really LONG time.  I ended up getting (and staying) VERY ANGRY for YEARS.  I am coming out of my 'TBI Anger Loop' -- I just kept repeating the bad things, instead of finding the successes.  And we HAVE TO find the successes.  

I am nearly 8 years out.  My 'Anger Loop' kept my recovery stagnant I feel.  People told me "relax" "be kind to yourself" or (Oh LORD) "ASk for what you NEED".  HAHAHHA.  How do you ask for something you have NO idea will help you?  I was like a small child in many ways, unable to 'find my words' (aphasia).  When I was RESTED I was better, but in TBI rest is hard to come by.  

I am able to do many more things now, from simple easy cooking (good for SUCCESS and formation of other skills, such as adding, concentration, etc) and even some easy sewing.  I watch my grandkids, I walk, workout some, care for my own home, and can maintain conversations fairly well.  THERE ARE DAYS.  I lose days, I lose STUFF, and those are HARD.  But I work VERY HARD to not 'should on myself' and keep my successes out in front of me.  

It is REALLY hard to hear 'give it time'.  Don't let yourself give up on you.  You can do this.  YOU CAN!

[Julie G]

Been there, done that , know the feeling.  I too was diagnosed with Post-Concussive Syndrome (6 months post injury).  It does get better, but as other people have said the word to focus on is--SLOWLY!!!!  It sounds to me like you might need to look for a new doctor.  I have memory problems, cognitive difficulties, stuttering, suffered from constant headaches, and the list goes on!  My neurologist sent me to a TBI Rehabilitation Clinic where I received Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy they had me doing "exercises" to build up brain stamina and although I walked out of there every time with a headache and being absolutely exhausted in the long run it helped.  There are some things that you can do at home without the doctor--like playing the electronic game Simon--sounds kind of silly I know, but it worked because it challenges your short term memory.  My daughter has a Nintendo DS and I play the Brain Age and Brain Age 2 games on that--once again, sounds kind of silly, but it works the portions of my brain where I have deficits.

I am now 2 years post-injury and unfortunately am on a downward spiral with symptoms--I have reverted back to where I was about a year ago.  My neurologist has referred me for more testing to try to pinpoint what is going on and it may require a return to the TBI Rehab Clinic which I will gladly do again, because the therapists helped me get a handle on managing the daily tasks necessary in my life until my physical and mental stamina was stronger.  Talk to your doctor and see if speech or occupational therapy is available to you.

Good Luck

Julie

[Polly Prisms]

It does get better! A lot better! Slowly. I'd like to add that, sometimes, where you live can affect how quickly your brain gets better.

I used to live in the high desert (Carson City, Nevada area), where I experienced very debilitating symptoms (severe headaches, flu-like symptoms, confusion, partial seizures, emotional problems, etc.) for years! The hot, dry air and living at altitude all affected my PCS very negatively. In the winter, the symptoms weren't quite as bad, but who wants to live that way?

Since I moved to near sea level, all those horrible symptoms were reduced tremendously, and I have been able to live a more normal life.

[BARB GEORGE]

Hi Polly and all,

I too moved to the sea area... and have increased my LIFE by 50% if not more.  For one who lost every day half way thru, and then it was not a fun and happy life, I am one much happier camper!!!  

It does take time. It does get better.  Sometimes radical changes need to be made.  

[Debi]

Hey Nick:

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you, it is extremely unfortunate. By the sounds of it, I don't believe in reading what you wrote that the hospital you were in in Vegas did you any justice. I found a lot of help in seeking help with a neuropsychologist  who gave me a more information than anyone besides the internet. I was seeing a Speech Therapist as well to help with cognitive and memory problems. Symptoms from a head injury can show up many, many months later than when the injury was sustained.

Recovering from a head injury can take years unfortunately however all we have is time. Seeking out the correct doctors for you is tedious work in itself. I encourage you to be kind to yourself first and foremost. I am happy to hear that you did quite drinking which can just make symptoms worse for you. Just please be kind to yourself, not so hard on yourself. We have too much expectations of ourselves with what has happened and what needs to be dealt with on a daily basis.

Please feel free to contact me if you care to discuss things or just want someone to listen to you. Have a great weekend and many blessings....

Debi

[SUSAN FOX]

Hi NIck,

I am a brain dialog researcher, certified clinical hypnotist and Jin Shin Jyutsu Physio-philosopher Practitioner.  One of the things that has helped me after my car accident twenty years ago is learning Jin Shin Jyutsu.  If you go to www.jsjinc.net you can find out about it.

I use it every day and know that it is the reason why I am doing as well as I am doing.  Though I don't have TBI, I have a lot of experience working in palliative care who are either seriously ill, in coma or about to die.

Learning and using Jin Shin Jyutsu makes all the difference in the world and naturally helps calm you and help you release tensions that can complicate any physical body wellness.

You might also learn about Reiki and receive those attunements as well to compliment your wellness.

These natural health modalities including using homeopathic remedies are how I have returned to being able to walk even though doctors said my spinal column injury was surgically unrepairable.

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