I'm OK

[Slongo]

I am looking for validation.  That's the most honest thing I can say.

I know you are aware of head injury statistics.  The throw away line is always about the number of undiagnosed head injuries every year. 

I'm one of those.  I couldn't be more certain. 

I'm OK, but for a long time I wasn't anywhere near OK and I didn't know why.

Before the accident, life was difficult for other reasons.  I had social anxiety since I was a child, desperately wanting to belong, clinging to relationships even if they were bad-never knowing what to say-agonizing over every interaction-crying myself to sleep- feeling like an alien. I so didn't want to be alone.

That was before the head injury.

I'm OK.  My brained healed.  I don't remember 1977 though I apparently put one foot in front of the other.  I remember part of 1978.  I  dropped away from friends. I went into a tailspin of drugs and alcohol and one night stands. I became and remain a loner- my fall-back position.  Now I realize I was just trying to survive when everything else was too hard.

The accident happened December 29, 1976.  I remembered the impact in 2007.  You don't have to tell me I'm full of it.  I've already had family and friends and physicians tell me.  I don't buy it.  They don't know.

I'm OK, but the remaining pain is the realization.  The realization of 'going in one end and coming out the other'- a changed human being, for better or worse. There will never be any validation of my experience. 

The kindest words ever spoken to me regarding this were "SO WHAT?"  I've begun to consider it a gift.  At least it was acknowledgement: it happened- move on.

I just retired from Nursing.  I have two wonderful kids and a guy who all think I'm weird and solitary.

I'm grateful. I'm happy. It could have been worse.

[Vicky Varichak]

Your story is not unlike a few others I have heard and I am convinced that there are many people who have had a brain injury and didn't realize for years - I am equally convinced that there are people who never realize what happened to them and they just live a life of shame and dissappointment and no one even explores the possibility that this person has a brain injury.  The good news for you is now you do know, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says your job is to be your own best friend and take good care of yourself. I think your attitude is awesome!

[BARB GEORGE]

Yep, yep and yep.  

I am so impressed and yes, you are OK.  Glad you are here.

[SUSAN FOX]

Here's something that might help you...a bit of information that the largest percentage of the population DOES NOT know about how the brain thinks.

I am a brain dialog researcher.  I have worked with people in coma and have gotten conscious responses from them because I figured out how to talk to them in THEIR language. 

You brain contains the equivalent of 4 distinct living computer application software programs.  I call them thoughtware programs because we activate them using out thoughts.

The brain's left hemisphere thinks in task-oriented ways.  That means, when we think about doing a task, we do so from the thoughtware programs in the left brain.  It is different from the thoughtware programs found in the right hemisphere.

The lower left, the fastest processing brain quadrant program is focused on efficiency and on getting jobs done.  Business people with A1 personalities, think from this quadrant.  It is the thoughtware program we use to be the boss, lead and inspire people to achieve goals.

The upper left, a much slower processing brain quadrant program, is focused on accuracy.  It is the quadrant we use to ask questions, critically analyze and get details so we can make informed decisions.

The left hemisphere programs seem to be more dynamic than the right brained programs.  It is because typically (with few exceptions) the left hemisphere controls the brain's language center.  So, think about people who are so driven that they can't be shaken from their 'mission' they are on.

When you are so intensely focused on something, such as protecting your child or making sure you feed yourself or other things that are so innately important (like being a doctor and saving lives) nothing can keep you from completing them, those thoughts come from the lower left brain.  Apply this understanding to the people in the world.

Think about politicians, doctors, business executives.  They are so driven (and at times manipulative or domineering) that they refuse to take 'no' for an answer.  It is simply their nature to achieve.

People come into this world preferring to live according to their specially designed DNA that drives them to think according to a divided percentage of use of each of these 4 thoughtware programs.  For example, a person comes into this world with DNA where they basically prefer to think let's say 75% of the time about efficiently and effectively getting a job done.  That is thinking from the lower left quadrant.  And, let's say this same person, having divided up the other 25% of their thinking preferences between the other three quadrant programs, thinks about 15% of the time from the upper left and only 5% form the upper right and 5% from the lower right. 

Now apply this understanding to the world population because this is what happens in the human brain.  If you were raised by someone who had a lot of influence over your attitude about yourself, say a lower left brainer, you develop the habit of thinking that you are supposed to think disrespectfully about yourself if you can't achieve goals easily.  This habit of thinking there is something 'defective' or unappreciated about you, PERSONALLY, filters through into every aspect of your life.

Luckily, you can change the habit to see that there is nothing 'wrong' with you or other people who achieve goals at a slower rate or using a different method than the fast thinkers and the fast doers of the world.  There is simply something DIFFERENT about the WAY you do things.

Your success is up to you.  There are people in the world who think and act insensitively to the right brainers of the world.  So, believe in yourself and love yourself.  See yourself for the thriver and survivor that you are.

The left brainers of the world who have never been through what you have successfully endured have no power over you if you see that they are judging the right brainer's of the world by unfair criteria.

You are BETTER than OK.  You are AWESOME.

Though I've only talked about the left brain abilities here, I've taken up a lot of room.  I am also a freelance copywriter.  I've written some articles that might be interesting to you about the right brain's qualities.  Though they show the application to marketing, please read the articles so you can understand about thinking from the right.

Hope this is helpful to you.  My website is www.yoursecretwishes.com.

I know this can feel lonely, to accept that you are already wonderful just the way you are.  But, hang in there.

I remember one time my first born son came home crying.  He was seven-years-old then.  When he walked, he had metal leg braces.  Otherwise, he would be unable to walk. 

I asked him the reason he was crying.  He said, "There were some boys who were following me home from school.  They heard a squeaking sound coming from me.  They asked why I was squeaking.  I told them I word leg braces so I could stand up and walk.  They said they didn't believe me and told me that they were going to prove that I was lying.  So, they started throwing rocks at my legs to see if they would bounce off.  They were mean."

If I had seen those boys I would have contacted their parents and had given them a real lesson in compassion by calling in the authorities. But I didn't.  So, instead I taught my son to decide for himself that he was awesome no matter what anyone else tried to demand of him.

That was the attitude we lived by until he died at age twelve.  I encourage you to choose, choose to see that you are already awesome and forget about the insensitive left brainers in the world who have no idea what they are talking about!

Errr. Never irk a mother when it comes to her child!

Comatalker

[Slongo]

Geez...Thank You All.  That feels so good and I do feel validated. 

Wow, that was easy.  I should have come here years ago instead of going to a psychiatrist.  I literally freaked out, but it seemed like nobody was willing to address it.  They all talked around it.  Like I was crazy. 

I had to shake it off eventually but I still think about accident every day and try to fill in the missing years, which I know is ridiculous.  I started writing and honing my memory of the accident on paper.  I have worked on it for years and have been adding to it as each memory leads to another.

[BARB GEORGE]

Nothing you are dealing with is easy.  If the rest of your family needs to have your situation 'validated' have them contact one of us. 

It is remarkable how my counselor refused to be a part of supporting my support group-does not feel that a 'patient driven support system' is worthwhile. Well, who else is going to cut to the chase and get on with LIFE?  We have to!  No choices there!  

Hugs.

[Slongo]

Wow.  I have often been very hard on myself, but I don't acknowledge it. Let me warn you in case you could'nt tell,  i''ve developed some kind of hypergraphia. 

When i said in another post that I've only cried about my head injury three times since I remembered (five years), I should have mentioned that I've cried a lot more over feeling socially awkward. I feel like It's not the same reason as it was before. Or maybe it is.  Could be a reaction formation. 

I can't remember people's names. I feels like I am so suddenly overwhelmed that I get annoyed and I don't care.  It's lazy.  My guy has a million sisters. He's Hispanic and the only boy in the family. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?,their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.   I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean.  I don't go over there anymore  and let my son and his father go without me. I just feel indifferent. 

Wow.  I have often been very hard on myself, but I don't acknowledge it. Let me warn you in case you din't know, i''ve developed some kind of hypergraphia. 

When i said in another post that I've only cried about my head injury three times since I remembered (five years), I should have mentioned that I've cried a lot more over feeling socially awkward. I feel like It's not the same reason as it was before. Or maybe it is.  Could be a reaction formation. 

I can't remember people's names. I feels like I am so suddenly overwhelmed that I get annoyed and I don't care.  It's lazy.  My guy has a million sisters. He's Hispanic and the only boy in the family. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He sort of got used to me. He's a good man and I've been through some crap men.  I feel in the position to judge. I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean.  I don't go over there anymore  and let my son and his father go without me. I just feel indifferent.  I've made excuses for Thanksgiving AND Christmas ( wow I just * Christmas, but i fixed it because it felt like bad luck.  I'm very superstitious.  My accident happened December 29, 1976, (I was 20) and ... look at that. Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  I just let my son and his father go without me. We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He has mostly sort of got used to me. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean. 

This one biych at work used to say Hi to me in the hall by the nurses station, with other people around.  She'd say it real Loud and emphasize my name, because she thougt it was funny that I couldn't remember her name,...ever.  I hated her.

The way I am aggravates it. But that's OK.

I'm a navel-gazer, in case you can't tell.  I look inward all the time and i have to say it fees like I'm happy with what I see. I think I have a lot of reaction formation. And I spent so many years hating myself  and not being able to speak to people at all from about 3rd grade until after the crack on the head.  I literally think I cracked my skull a little bit.  i've always remebered that crunch (crap, will you look at that?) and the unbroken window that I thought i spider-webbed with my head until I looked at it. Crunch. "I'm OK, I just hit my head on the window."  I remember (ha) saying that over and over at the scene.  Then I refused tratment. (OMG)  My passenger was hurt, I thought, more than me.  She need stitches in her forehad and the bridge of her nose from taking out the rear-view mirror and messed up her knee.

yes I think I was a moron at 20, because a few times I thought I ought to tell somebody that I wasn't doing well at the scene but it was like I couldn't. And then the headache started and I totally forgot I had hit my head.  I do remember vomiting until I couldn't breathe later that night.

I feel like my brain came through.  I love my brain.  Sometimes I don't like my deficits, true, but my brain has rewarded me in other ways. Hating yourself sucs. I don't think I hate myself anymore.

I didn't know I sounded so tormented.  I have a lot to say and I'm frank.

let's see know, what's my score

• Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  .

• i've - i

• biych

• thougt

• could'nt

• remebered

• tratment

• forehad

• sucs

• now (instead of now)

I've made excuses for Thanksgiving AND Christmas ( wow I just * Christmas, but i fixed it because it felt like bad luck.  I'm very superstitious.  My accident happened December 29, 1976, (I was 20) and ... look at that. Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  I just let my son and his father go without me. We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He has mostly sort of got used to me. He's a good man and I;ve been through some crap men, so I feel in the position to judge.   If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean. 

This one biych at work used to say Hi to me in the hall by the nurses station, with other people around.  She'd say it real Loud and emphasize my name, because she thougt it was funny that I couldn't remember her name,...ever.  I hated her.

The way I am aggravates it. But that's OK.

I'm a navel-gazer, in case you can't tell.  I look inward all the time and i have to say it fees like I'm happy with what I see. I think I have a lot of reaction formation. And I spent so many years hating myself  and not being able to speak to people at all from about 3rd grade until after the crack on the head.  I literally think I cracked my skull a little bit.  i've always remebered that crunch (crap, will you look at that?) and the unbroken window that I thought i spider-webbed with my head until I looked at it. Crunch. "I'm OK, I just hit my head on the window."  I remember (ha) saying that over and over at the scene.  Then I refused tratment. (OMG)  My passenger was hurt, I thought, more than me.  She need stitches in her forehad and the bridge of her nose from taking out the rear-view mirror and messed up her knee.

yes I think I was a moron at 20, because a few times I thought I ought to tell somebody that I wasn't doing well at the scene but it was like I couldn't. And then the headache started and I totally forgot I had hit my head.  I do remember vomiting until I couldn't breathe later that night.

I feel like my brain came through.  I love my brain.  Sometimes I don't like my deficits, true, but my brain has rewarded me in other ways. Hating yourself sucs. I don't think I hate myself anymore.

I didn't know I sounded so tormented.  I have a lot to say and I'm very frank.

let's see know, what's my score

• Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  .

• i've - i

• biych

• thougt

• din't

• remebered

• tratment

• forehad

• sucs

• know (instead of now)

WOW, TEN FREUDIAN SLIPS.

cool

SUSAN FOX said:

If you were raised by someone who had a lot of influence over your attitude about yourself, say a lower left brainer, you develop the habit of thinking that you are supposed to think disrespectfully about yourself if you can't achieve goals easily.  This habit of thinking there is something 'defective' or unappreciated about you, PERSONALLY, filters through into every aspect of your life.

Luckily, you can change the habit to see that there is nothing 'wrong' with you or other people who achieve goals at a slower rate or using a different method than the fast thinkers and the fast doers of the world.  There is simply something DIFFERENT about the WAY you do things.

Your success is up to you.  There are people in the world who think and act insensitively to the right brainers of the world.  So, believe in yourself and love yourself.  See yourself for the thriver and survivor that you are.

[Slongo]

Look at that crap it won't let me fix it.  Disregard freaking half of that

Blah, blah , blah.  Let me tell it twice.  Geez.

make that twelve Freudian slips.

[Slongo]

By the way, it was my mother who  belittled me and we moved a lot with my father's job.  I just couldn't get my shit together after that.  Pardon my French but I also have a mouth like a sailor.  I enjoy shocking people.

This is mild and I'll keep it that way. I promise.

[BARB GEORGE]

Hi Slongo,

LOL about shocking people!  LOVE IT!!!  Sometimes it is NEEDED!  

I sort of got into a 'rut' of letting people know, that I had a 'brain bonk' and it made it so I truly cannot remember some things... people, names, faces. I am better with what they do... But if your partner has a zillion sisters, I would just let them know--shoot, they will tell one another, if you just tell one!!!  :)  Let them know it is overwhelming to be around so many people.  It feels out of control, cuz the brain is shutting off... If you CAN try to not cut yourself off, great.  

There are some things I can do.  Others I can't.  Working VERY hard at NOT shoulding on myself.  

Good luck!  I think you are TERRIFIC!

[Kimmy]

I am glad your ok . We have so much in common it erry I was a nurse 12yrs it was my second passion in life my first is my kids and fam. I too can make sailors blush now hehehe I would love to find you on FB or somewhere it's easier to chat back and forth I like what you have to say and you strike me as having many common issues as I do. Hit me up if you want  Be safe take care :) Kimmy Harvey

[Slongo]

being validated is way too much stimulation.  I've gone bipolar.  My brain is spinning.  Gotta probably take a break.  I knew it was gonna happen.  I've pinned too much on it for too long.

BARB GEORGE said:

Hi Slongo,

LOL about shocking people!  LOVE IT!!!  Sometimes it is NEEDED!  

I sort of got into a 'rut' of letting people know, that I had a 'brain bonk' and it made it so I truly cannot remember some things... people, names, faces. I am better with what they do... But if your partner has a zillion sisters, I would just let them know--shoot, they will tell one another, if you just tell one!!!  :)  Let them know it is overwhelming to be around so many people.  It feels out of control, cuz the brain is shutting off... If you CAN try to not cut yourself off, great.  

There are some things I can do.  Others I can't.  Working VERY hard at NOT shoulding on myself.  

Good luck!  I think you are TERRIFIC!

[Kimmy]

OMG like reading my own story from what you suffer from I deal with this also. I refused to go to hosptial from what I am told about the accident I was driven home where spent two days in bed vomiting out of it half non-responsive got up Monday morning worked 6 days straight in a fog confused headache dizzy nausea body pain everywhere Then on Saturday I got up early went to work for big training class got half way through teaching and skills testing and Wham!!! I couldnt talk I couldnt walk and my employer took me to the E.R. and left. I lost 12days of hospitalization and the whole period before accident. I was released with no speech or physical therapy so I did it my self. I had been with my ex for 24yrs and that within it's prior to the accident was a changling relationship. I personally died in that accident and the new person is much different and we all are trying to learn and cope with this and it had caused much pain and still at times does but I left in Oct 2011 and I know that this was what needed to be done for myself and the people in my life. I stand strong and tall and push on because I will take myself as far as I can go and be whom I am supposed to be cause I have been saved so very many times in my life there has got to be a purpose. I am very thankful to you for sharing and caring :) Be safe Kimmy
 
Slongo said:

Wow.  I have often been very hard on myself, but I don't acknowledge it. Let me warn you in case you could'nt tell,  i''ve developed some kind of hypergraphia. 

When i said in another post that I've only cried about my head injury three times since I remembered (five years), I should have mentioned that I've cried a lot more over feeling socially awkward. I feel like It's not the same reason as it was before. Or maybe it is.  Could be a reaction formation. 

I can't remember people's names. I feels like I am so suddenly overwhelmed that I get annoyed and I don't care.  It's lazy.  My guy has a million sisters. He's Hispanic and the only boy in the family. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?,their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.   I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean.  I don't go over there anymore  and let my son and his father go without me. I just feel indifferent. 

Wow.  I have often been very hard on myself, but I don't acknowledge it. Let me warn you in case you din't know, i''ve developed some kind of hypergraphia. 

When i said in another post that I've only cried about my head injury three times since I remembered (five years), I should have mentioned that I've cried a lot more over feeling socially awkward. I feel like It's not the same reason as it was before. Or maybe it is.  Could be a reaction formation. 

I can't remember people's names. I feels like I am so suddenly overwhelmed that I get annoyed and I don't care.  It's lazy.  My guy has a million sisters. He's Hispanic and the only boy in the family. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He sort of got used to me. He's a good man and I've been through some crap men.  I feel in the position to judge. I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean.  I don't go over there anymore  and let my son and his father go without me. I just feel indifferent.  I've made excuses for Thanksgiving AND Christmas ( wow I just * Christmas, but i fixed it because it felt like bad luck.  I'm very superstitious.  My accident happened December 29, 1976, (I was 20) and ... look at that. Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  I just let my son and his father go without me. We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He has mostly sort of got used to me. If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean. 

This one biych at work used to say Hi to me in the hall by the nurses station, with other people around.  She'd say it real Loud and emphasize my name, because she thougt it was funny that I couldn't remember her name,...ever.  I hated her.

The way I am aggravates it. But that's OK.

I'm a navel-gazer, in case you can't tell.  I look inward all the time and i have to say it fees like I'm happy with what I see. I think I have a lot of reaction formation. And I spent so many years hating myself  and not being able to speak to people at all from about 3rd grade until after the crack on the head.  I literally think I cracked my skull a little bit.  i've always remebered that crunch (crap, will you look at that?) and the unbroken window that I thought i spider-webbed with my head until I looked at it. Crunch. "I'm OK, I just hit my head on the window."  I remember (ha) saying that over and over at the scene.  Then I refused tratment. (OMG)  My passenger was hurt, I thought, more than me.  She need stitches in her forehad and the bridge of her nose from taking out the rear-view mirror and messed up her knee.

yes I think I was a moron at 20, because a few times I thought I ought to tell somebody that I wasn't doing well at the scene but it was like I couldn't. And then the headache started and I totally forgot I had hit my head.  I do remember vomiting until I couldn't breathe later that night.

I feel like my brain came through.  I love my brain.  Sometimes I don't like my deficits, true, but my brain has rewarded me in other ways. Hating yourself sucs. I don't think I hate myself anymore.

I didn't know I sounded so tormented.  I have a lot to say and I'm frank.

let's see know, what's my score

• Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  .

• i've - i

• biych

• thougt

• could'nt

• remebered

• tratment

• forehad

• sucs

• now (instead of now)

I've made excuses for Thanksgiving AND Christmas ( wow I just * Christmas, but i fixed it because it felt like bad luck.  I'm very superstitious.  My accident happened December 29, 1976, (I was 20) and ... look at that. Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  I just let my son and his father go without me. We're not married so I really don't feel compelled. He has mostly sort of got used to me. He's a good man and I;ve been through some crap men, so I feel in the position to judge.   If I think real hard before I go over there, I'll think I have faces-to-names lined up.  But as soon as they're hugging me and saying, how are you Ann?, their names go out the window. Or I'll hold onto the names but as soon as I'm looking in their faces I can't remember which one is which.  I should explain it to them sometime.  That I'm not really a total bitch, I mean. 

This one biych at work used to say Hi to me in the hall by the nurses station, with other people around.  She'd say it real Loud and emphasize my name, because she thougt it was funny that I couldn't remember her name,...ever.  I hated her.

The way I am aggravates it. But that's OK.

I'm a navel-gazer, in case you can't tell.  I look inward all the time and i have to say it fees like I'm happy with what I see. I think I have a lot of reaction formation. And I spent so many years hating myself  and not being able to speak to people at all from about 3rd grade until after the crack on the head.  I literally think I cracked my skull a little bit.  i've always remebered that crunch (crap, will you look at that?) and the unbroken window that I thought i spider-webbed with my head until I looked at it. Crunch. "I'm OK, I just hit my head on the window."  I remember (ha) saying that over and over at the scene.  Then I refused tratment. (OMG)  My passenger was hurt, I thought, more than me.  She need stitches in her forehad and the bridge of her nose from taking out the rear-view mirror and messed up her knee.

yes I think I was a moron at 20, because a few times I thought I ought to tell somebody that I wasn't doing well at the scene but it was like I couldn't. And then the headache started and I totally forgot I had hit my head.  I do remember vomiting until I couldn't breathe later that night.

I feel like my brain came through.  I love my brain.  Sometimes I don't like my deficits, true, but my brain has rewarded me in other ways. Hating yourself sucs. I don't think I hate myself anymore.

I didn't know I sounded so tormented.  I have a lot to say and I'm very frank.

let's see know, what's my score

• Christmas-December 25  Accident-December 29th.  .

• i've - i

• biych

• thougt

• din't

• remebered

• tratment

• forehad

• sucs

• know (instead of now)

WOW, TEN FREUDIAN SLIPS.

cool

SUSAN FOX said:

If you were raised by someone who had a lot of influence over your attitude about yourself, say a lower left brainer, you develop the habit of thinking that you are supposed to think disrespectfully about yourself if you can't achieve goals easily.  This habit of thinking there is something 'defective' or unappreciated about you, PERSONALLY, filters through into every aspect of your life.

Luckily, you can change the habit to see that there is nothing 'wrong' with you or other people who achieve goals at a slower rate or using a different method than the fast thinkers and the fast doers of the world.  There is simply something DIFFERENT about the WAY you do things.

Your success is up to you.  There are people in the world who think and act insensitively to the right brainers of the world.  So, believe in yourself and love yourself.  See yourself for the thriver and survivor that you are.