Discovering you have a TBI 40 years later

[Cheryl Miladin]

I am looking for someone who has experienced something similar to my husband that he could talk to so he could have someone to relate to. He was hit by a car while on a bike when he was 12, had a miraculous recovery and all thought he was 100% recovered. Fast forward to 2009 and many jobs later: it was discovered that he has residual effects that have hindered him being able to retain a job. He has had several. He is not bad enough to file for disability, has been getting help from the Dept. of Rehab to find and retain work, found a job, tried hard at it, but they just let him go on Friday. He is struggling with the reality of not being able to provide for our family. I returned to work after being home with our girls for 16 years. We are struggling to make it and are really not sure how we are going to do it. Anyone out there discover after many years that they are not the person they thought they were? Also, if anyone knows of other sites/forums that I might try going to, please let me know.  Thank you! 

 

[Brandy]

we can find us if we keep trying, it is hard because it is someone we don't recognize

[Angela Layton]

Wow quite a story , and I know several people with the bike accident. So he is not at all alone. My story starts when I was about 2 or 3 yrs old in a single car accident. I have a metal plate and a piece of the truck handle still there. I am 38 yrs old and I remeber everything. I was not ever told growing up that I was different, or even had a disability. My parents hid it out of thier own shame. I was suppose to have a new plate put in as I was growing and it never happened. You can just imagine all the difficulties I have been expierancing. So now I have been trying to recieve social security and I am having trouble getting a CT scan for free because I have not worked in 4 or so years, no heathcare insurance, nada...no income means no money. The local state hospital keeps putting me on a 3 month waiting list and I can't because I do not have apermanent residence because I have no income I can't pay rent either, so I keep loosing my spot in line and I have been doing this for almost 2 years. TEXAS has nothing for people like me. I am a research participant at the Brain Center for Health in Dallas, Tx and they offered me 5 free MRI's but I cannot have them because of the Metal plate and they told me that I am on my own to find a CT or PET scan. I know the problem with our situation is that the people that are suppose to be caring ARE IN THE WRONG JOB because they do not care, do not have compassion, and are UNWILLING to help those who are in need. The only time they are helpfull is because either themselves or someone they care about has a disability. DARS won't help me either. The only way I found a lawyer for my social security case is by REACH of Dallas and I even went to downtown to the free lawyer place and they turned me away. Just keep going and keep pressing something always turns up eventually. I searched for 3 years before I found the Brain Center.I will keep you and your family in my prayers, Aho!

[David Cole]

Few similarities, except: I too am a TBI victor!  As written for every single body... necessarily possessing a head, my story was written for you!  While not meaning to disenfranchise married bodies, divorced bodies, THE ILIAD of the ODD D.C. was written to help the able-bodied contingency really understand and >GET-IT,< without their needing to "do" "Traumatic Brain Injury" and to loose all the associated capacities:  Capabilities and all the other adjunctive contingencies!  NO AMOUNT OF TIME, OR INTENSITY OF THERAPY CAN, OR WILL BECOME A COMPENSATION FOR WHAT MAY HAVE OR WAS LOST!  It sounds as though >you< need nomination for a Noble Peace Prize...

My publisher would really beam to know that she contributed in so profound a capacity!  "Mother's House Publishing!"  Her name is Ms. Jacqueline Haag!  I'd just had to write it!  The Iliad of the Odd D.C.

 

 

 

It really, really needs to be read!  And not just by any-body.  It really must needs to be read by every single body: with a head!  And married bodies, and divorced bodies, and bodies "still-on-the-fence!"

 

[Angela Layton]

Wow! That would be cool, to actualy Make a difference for others. What a dream.

David Cole said:

Few similarities, except: I too am a TBI victor!  As written for every single body... necessarily possessing a head, my story was written for you!  While not meaning to disenfranchise married bodies, divorced bodies, THE ILIAD of the ODD D.C. was written to help the able-bodied contingency really understand and >GET-IT,< without their needing to "do" "Traumatic Brain Injury" and to loose all the associated capacities:  Capabilities and all the other adjunctive contingencies!  NO AMOUNT OF TIME, OR INTENSITY OF THERAPY CAN, OR WILL BECOME A COMPENSATION FOR WHAT MAY HAVE OR WAS LOST!  It sounds as though >you< need nomination for a Noble Peace Prize...

My publisher would really beam to know that she contributed in so profound a capacity!  "Mother's House Publishing!"  Her name is Ms. Jacqueline Haag!  I'd just had to write it!  The Iliad of the Odd D.C.

 

 

 

It really, really needs to be read!  And not just by any-body.  It really must needs to be read by every single body: with a head!  And married bodies, and divorced bodies, and bodies "still-on-the-fence!"

 

[BARB GEORGE]

I am so sorry you have been struggling with this situation.  Nothing about the loss of a job is simple.  And the grief involved in something like a brain injury takes a lot of energy. Even delayed grief.  

Can you identify WHAT is happening when your husband is let go?  Employers are sometimes 'cagey' about this stuff, but can you figure out what the common denominator is? Employers are SUPPOSED to make reasonable concessions for employees with disabilities (but that can be 'masked' in many ways and isn't always the case).  My own husband was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome a number of years ago, which makes it very difficult to flip from client to client--that worked FINE early in his career--it fit the mold his employers wanted... but now, it is a hindrance  to the current workplace.  Obviously, he has had aspergers all of his life, but the 'coping skills' he had in place did not keep up with the current situation.  He was downsized 3 times.  He lost a job at the 30 year mark--same company.  Hurtful.  Painful.  And costly... 

My encouragement to you is this... sit down and be honest with your husband-not an easy task.  Line up what he is GREAT at, and things that are not so good.  Example:  My husband is in his own world.  Give him a task and the world falls away... he is ALL IN. That is great in a one project/job world, but take one thing out of the equation and he is toasted. Maybe it is time to step away from the CAREER and work something minimal.  Why?  There are MANY people out there who have had to take on 'less than' jobs.  Unemployment is a huge problem right now, and explaining on a resume' for a less than prestigious job, is not something to be ashamed of... And, it can help identify good points vs bad points with your husbands brain.  I hope I am making this clear...     Currently I am working 3 days per week in a challenging (for me) job which pays 1/10 of what I made before my accident.  Why?  To prove I CAN access some parts of my brain.  To prove that with coping strategies I am able to do a good job.  I was honest with my employers, and they know I am working hard...  

Your husband has been recovering since he was 12.  He was able to GET the jobs... something fell off after that-if you can identify that, you may be able to find a way to work around it.  

I also encourage you to have him try to do some volunteer work.  It will keep his skills in check, add some GOOD things to the resume' and give back to him in good feelings and ways.  I am glad he is getting some help with the Dept of Rehab.

Good luck!  Thoughts are with you.  Not a simple situation.