Today is a Bad Brain Day. I have never been able to describe this to a Dr. Family, or Friends. It's rather difficult to explain but I figured since we all speak the same language, maybe I would get some understanding and suggestions.

My injury was in 2005. I either had a stroke past out and banged my head really hard, or I passed out banged my head really hard and had a stroke. I don't remember the accident, the several hours of having a seizure, or the first week in the hospital. I suffer from short term memory loss and a mild form of Aphasia. 

Same story as everyone else. Lost friends, lost jobs, lost hope. Made friends, got a part time job and found some friends. Life is better in some ways, worse in others. 

One thing that changed since my injury is I became very athletic and developed a very dark sense of humour. I mean who doesn't like there favourite TV again and again, and it's always a new episode ;') I ran my first Marathon in Chicago less than a year after my injury. Then a Triathlon in Vancouver in 2008, 2009 I completed the Penticton Ironman, then in 2010 I ran the Goofy Challenge (1/2 marathon followed by a full marathon). I figure I just forget to stop running. 

My next goal is to run a marathon a day across canada in April of 2011. I want to raise awareness for TBI and I have teamed up with BrainTrustCanada.com. It's going to be cool. I will have a motorhome, and several people with me. Each day we will post the run live online and have pictures and stuff that I can't remember. (hey if your near a run come on out for a run or just yell at me to move faster on the highway)

Ok so that's my story. Now back to bad brain days. The last couple of days I have been dealing Dell on the phone. I am trying to buy a new computer to process photoshop and handle all the data I will have from my run. I have never bought a computer this expensive. While I have heard lot's of bad things about Dell, my purchase was quite simple. The sales guy was really good, new what I wanted. Things were great.

Then one day I looked at the order online and it was cancelled. So I phoned, emailed, sent out smoke signals. No response. Two days later I get an email of a new order. Everything looks the same, as my first order. Except the new one is cheeper by $40.00. They new order has Office 2007 in it. When I ordered Office 2010. 

So having a brain injury I question myself. Did I order the wrong thing?  I check my old older, yup I did order 2010. I don't want 2007 as my current computer has 2010, my smartphone and other software are all Office 2010. Plus I am buying a 2010 computer. I want 2010 software.

Several days, turns into weeks. To keep the story short, dell says they don't have a copy of 2010, but that's ok, 2007 costs less so I am saving money? What kind of bate and switch is this? I say I am not saving money I am buying a product I don't want, that I didn't order and I never agreed to and now I will have spend $275.00 bucks on Office 2010 when I get it. 

This is where the bad brain comes in. Now I am using dell as example of where my confusion starts. I mean a non brain injured person has difficulty sometimes dealing with large companies and being transferred, called back, cut off, hung up on, etc, etc. These happen. 

I finally cancelled the order as I figured that if it's this hard buying from them and they can't get it right. What will happen when they have my money and something goes wrong?

This was all over the last couple of weeks. I had to research and hunt down another laptop. Go through my story again etc.....My brain is latterly exhausted. It's like I just ran a mental marathon. I do sleep, I reduce my mental stress, but I can't turn off the brain process.

It's like when you try to turn off your computer and one program just won't turn off. It kind of freezes. Or like a skipping record that keeps playing the same 5 seconds of audio over and over again. 

Any suggestions on how to turn it off? Is this just me or do others have this issue? 

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UM... have you been checked for seizures?  That is sort of what it is like--I always thought it was the shaking frothing thing... not at all... though when someone tries to have me describe it--I have to defer to whoever I was with-cuz I have left the universe during it.  

 

I thought I had responded to this... Natalie, have you ever checked with your doctor about seizures?  This is what I experience (sort of--also have 'pins and needles' in my hands and arms, weakness all over and sometimes will fall) in a seizure.  You might want to check it out.  

 

Dear David

I am only answering because you asked what do we do on those overload days? How to turn it off.

I guess it helped for me to know it might be called chronic stress. So chronic stress is non stop - chronic. And yes it changes, can be any addictive type behavior so we have to be careful of everything going overboard, not just thoughts.

I do have suggestions. Rescue Remedy Sleep. It shuts off those over bearing thoughts that roll and roll. And some kind of total relaxation like acupuncture therapy for chronic stress, yoga classes everyday until the brain slowly learns a new style of rest, breathing, etc., massage but with follow-up work to learn total relaxation. I went to my doctor for quite a while complaining about all this stuff. They set me up with 6 appts for neck massage a week apart, with warmth - not good enough. Our brains need total relaxation, stress free everyday until we learn a new way to "unwind". ok, another one is cranial-sacral work. And I also, I have had neuro-emotional therapy at a chiropractor's office. And I have had 3x a week treatments from a good neurologist-chiropractor. I take no medication, nothing to confuse the brain more. I am good now, but I still get anxiety flashes instead of all the time and I still have over stimulation times where sometimes I do not know what to do. So all the words here help me too, thank you for all the great ideas and sharing. 

 

 

Thank you to all of you have responded on this post on bad brain days. I am currently just near Banff Alberta in my "run to remember' A marathon a day across Canada to raise awarness for Brain Injury in north america. So thanks for your responses and if I have not responded. Well running a marathon every day keeps me pretty busy. I also don't always access to internet, or the time to read all the responses. 

 

Again thank you so much and I have read all your responses. 

I GET THE BAD DAYS TOO.....I BELIEVE THAT OUR BRAIN IS WORKING IN SOME WAY LIKE IT USED TO BEFORE OUR TBI IN THAT BEFORE WE WOULD BE AFFECTED BY A "MOOD"   YOU KNOW, LIKE A GOOD DAY OR A BAD DAY....THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH NOW IS THAT OUR BRAINS MAY REACT SLOWER MUCH OF THE TIME....AND IT JUST FEELS CRAPPY...YOU KNOW?  IT'S JUST LIKE SOME OF THE BRAIN CELLS ARE ON "BREAK"...AND JUST NOT REACTING....AND BECAUSE IT HAPPENS FIRST THING AFTER YOU WAKE UP...IT CAN REALLY MAKE YOU FEEL TOTALLY OUT OF IT.....VERY STRANGE INDEED....I MEAN, I LOVE THE "GOOD BRAIN DAYS"...BUT I DON'T LIKE TO GET USED TO FEELING THAT GOOD SOMETIMES....CAUSE I KNOW I'LL REGRET IT ON MY "BAD BRAIN-DAY"  IT'S ONE HECK OF A WEIRD THING TO GO THROUGH!!!

Some times I think we also get STUCK in the BAD brain... Like we can't 'reboot' the happy places.  Or feel we can't. Like in aphasia--grasping for words--we grasp for happy.  I know that I have done that.  Some times are longer than others--and I stumble along, trying so hard to find 'happy'.  

 

I wonder sometimes if it is because when I was hurt, I was mentally hurting (my dad had just killed himself--deep, deep pain) and I got stuck, like a broken record.  And I fight that 'skip' too much.  

Nice creative thoughts for dealing with brain injury unknowns. They tell us, some people who are lacking certain nutrients do need to be on pharma of some sort. Concern is why not figure out what nutrients are lacking, first - so as not to cover up obvious good nutrition? Good idea to start with B supreme vitamins or liquid B vitamins, pure butter therapy, cod liver oil and find a real nutritionist to help figure it out by blood tests. Sweet. 

 

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