Today is a Bad Brain Day. I have never been able to describe this to a Dr. Family, or Friends. It's rather difficult to explain but I figured since we all speak the same language, maybe I would get some understanding and suggestions.

My injury was in 2005. I either had a stroke past out and banged my head really hard, or I passed out banged my head really hard and had a stroke. I don't remember the accident, the several hours of having a seizure, or the first week in the hospital. I suffer from short term memory loss and a mild form of Aphasia. 

Same story as everyone else. Lost friends, lost jobs, lost hope. Made friends, got a part time job and found some friends. Life is better in some ways, worse in others. 

One thing that changed since my injury is I became very athletic and developed a very dark sense of humour. I mean who doesn't like there favourite TV again and again, and it's always a new episode ;') I ran my first Marathon in Chicago less than a year after my injury. Then a Triathlon in Vancouver in 2008, 2009 I completed the Penticton Ironman, then in 2010 I ran the Goofy Challenge (1/2 marathon followed by a full marathon). I figure I just forget to stop running. 

My next goal is to run a marathon a day across canada in April of 2011. I want to raise awareness for TBI and I have teamed up with BrainTrustCanada.com. It's going to be cool. I will have a motorhome, and several people with me. Each day we will post the run live online and have pictures and stuff that I can't remember. (hey if your near a run come on out for a run or just yell at me to move faster on the highway)

Ok so that's my story. Now back to bad brain days. The last couple of days I have been dealing Dell on the phone. I am trying to buy a new computer to process photoshop and handle all the data I will have from my run. I have never bought a computer this expensive. While I have heard lot's of bad things about Dell, my purchase was quite simple. The sales guy was really good, new what I wanted. Things were great.

Then one day I looked at the order online and it was cancelled. So I phoned, emailed, sent out smoke signals. No response. Two days later I get an email of a new order. Everything looks the same, as my first order. Except the new one is cheeper by $40.00. They new order has Office 2007 in it. When I ordered Office 2010. 

So having a brain injury I question myself. Did I order the wrong thing?  I check my old older, yup I did order 2010. I don't want 2007 as my current computer has 2010, my smartphone and other software are all Office 2010. Plus I am buying a 2010 computer. I want 2010 software.

Several days, turns into weeks. To keep the story short, dell says they don't have a copy of 2010, but that's ok, 2007 costs less so I am saving money? What kind of bate and switch is this? I say I am not saving money I am buying a product I don't want, that I didn't order and I never agreed to and now I will have spend $275.00 bucks on Office 2010 when I get it. 

This is where the bad brain comes in. Now I am using dell as example of where my confusion starts. I mean a non brain injured person has difficulty sometimes dealing with large companies and being transferred, called back, cut off, hung up on, etc, etc. These happen. 

I finally cancelled the order as I figured that if it's this hard buying from them and they can't get it right. What will happen when they have my money and something goes wrong?

This was all over the last couple of weeks. I had to research and hunt down another laptop. Go through my story again etc.....My brain is latterly exhausted. It's like I just ran a mental marathon. I do sleep, I reduce my mental stress, but I can't turn off the brain process.

It's like when you try to turn off your computer and one program just won't turn off. It kind of freezes. Or like a skipping record that keeps playing the same 5 seconds of audio over and over again. 

Any suggestions on how to turn it off? Is this just me or do others have this issue? 

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i know all about bad brain days and brain weeks, i just shut down sometimes and there is nothing i can do about it its not just you our brains like computers reboot now i think
we all have them just dealing with them and getting through it can take all we have
some days or better than others, we just need to celebrate the good ones and forget the bad ones
Thanks goodnes for short term memory loss!! ;')

Mac said:
some days or better than others, we just need to celebrate the good ones and forget the bad ones
i am anti dell i think their computers are junk full of problems, so good move, as far as our brain it is very hard to turn it off, we have energizer batteries in them i think they just keep going and going
sometimes my days are bad brain weeks or longer, we need to do what ever we can to get out of the bad days
life is a risk what ever we do, we just need lots of thinking before we act
My son will just shut down too. Also he would have difficulty handling your computer situation. Reading a book or watching a tv show for a while seem to help him reboot. Something to totally remove himself from everything.

Aban said:
life is a risk what ever we do, we just need lots of thinking before we act
we all have bad days the trick is to focus and remember the good ones, because we are amazing much of the time, just remember how amazing you are
Just hang in there, Lukus. You are alive for a reason, and there has got to be something ahead to look forward to. Please don't give up.

Lukus Oconor said:
sometimes my days are bad brain weeks or longer, we need to do what ever we can to get out of the bad days
there are lots of bad days wish i had a remote with an off switch too
I have an external blog and blogged about A Bad Brain Day a quite while back. My Bad Brain Days are a little different now but still along the same theme.
http://www.dancingupsidedown.com/2009/04/bad-brain-day.html

Best of everything with your Marathon Marathon! I used to handle for ultramarathoners.

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