Are you normal now?

[Becca Dixon]

That was an actual question that I was asked during a phone interview for a job at Nationwide, after I was asked why I was terminated from my last job. I replied that I had had an accident and needed more time than they allowed to return to work so they were said that they had to terminate me. (I was on FMLA after my stroke but they said that they keep holding my position for me.)The interviewer, paused and then asked me if I was "normal now", nobody has ever asked me that.I wanted to laugh because when I first had my stroke most of my doctors told me that I should have died, so normal really may have meant what ,lol? In a wheelchair, but thriving and trying to find my way on my new path, I still have a hard time finding work, anyone else? HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYONE AND GOD BLESS YA'LL!!

[BARB GEORGE]

GEEZ!  This almost sounds like they could 'get away with' this question and not be accused of discrimination!  UGH!  

What the ____ is NORMAL?  

My husband had cancer over 25 years ago--long term stretched out recovery... he is STILL discriminated against, even though they 'hide' it in other ways... 

Take care and I hope for all hope that you are able to find something-someone who respects just how hard it is to GET UP EVERY MORNING after this sort of thing!  IT IS COURAGE SPOKEN EVERY DAY!

 

[mary lutz]

I have not worked in three years and upon considering going back part time, I know the question of why I have not worked in this time will come up in interview. A question that I dread as I do not want perspective employer to think I am not competent, but also do not want to sound as though I did not need this time to recover.

Are you normal now? What a question. I am having a hard time finding jobs to even apply for because there is little part time work in what I do. It seems everyone wants full time and I am just not ready for that. Im not "normal " enough for full time yet.

[BARB GEORGE]

I know that feeling.  I wonder some times about maybe a 'job share'.  I need a job with the inclusion of the description "mandatory afternoon naps".  Not exactly a 'selling factor'.  

I made the HUGE mistake after my first accident, of going back to work very soon afterwards... I ended up back in hospital with another brain injury... It has been over 7 years for me now, and while I am more active now, than I have been in years, my cognitive abilities are still not where they should be. 

 I was once at a 'support group' where one of the leaders asked my husband (not me... they barely spoke to me) if I was back to work yet--as though that was a 'mile marker' for my recovery.  It made me SO ANGRY at the time--and his answer was somewhat demeaning (to the line of, well, she didn't 'make anything' anyway...) I had a self-sustaining consulting firm that was 2 years old, and I had moved to a different state in the middle of that time--of course i wasn't bringing in the big bucks at that time.  I went back once--and felt such anger it wasn't a positive thing.  So much of me wanted to say 'yes, but I take my own showers!'  Now THAT is a true measure of where I am!!!  

 I wish you the best!  We are SO identified by our work life...

[Vicky Varichak]

I am in recovery - from several things, and early in my recovery I was telling a friend; "I just want to be normal" and she reached in her purse and handed me a red poker chip, on one side it said; "98.6" and the other it said "normal" she said - "there you go - you're normal".

[Debbie Wilson]

Bless your heart, I cannot believe someone asked you that question! I would have had to say no I'm not as a matter of fact!

[Cheryl Green]

By the way, friends, what they did was illegal.

They have no right to ask you for details if you say "I took FMLA and then needed more time off." And asking you if you are "normal" is another way of saying "So um, are you like disabled and going to ask for a lot of extra stuff or be a whiny baby?" That is illegal, plain and simple.

Anyone dealing with this from an employer or potential employer needs to speak to an advocate in the Affirmative Action Equal Opportunity office. Sometimes it's just called Equal Opportunity. You tell them what the employer said whether you work there or only interviewed for a job. If they write up a complaint, a mandatory training will be given to that person who overstepped.

Also, any job in the US is required by law to let you take "reasonable accommodations." You fill out a form with the Equal Opportunity office saying what things will help you work (low lights, afternoon naps off the clock, etc.). If they find your request reasonable, they have to give it to you. If it's unreasonable, they have to tell you that. But at no time can the employer nose in and ask what your disability is or if you're going to be a problem because of it.

Also! Check out thinkbeyondthelabel.com and send that to your employer's HR and Equal Opportunity offices. My advocate at my new job loved the site. It's a national campaign to encourage employers to accept and hire disabled workers.

[phil espinoza]

Boy, that person who asked you that question should get the "Dumb, Dumb, of the Year Award!"  For a pretty Stupid question!  :D

[phil espinoza]

Call that person and ask if their name is "Dork!"

[Michael Buckner]

Becca, I would've asked him to define normality to me because what is normal for one person is totally strange to another, if you know what I mean.  In today's world, normality has a wide range of possibilities.

[Bernie]

That was a very ignorant response from the person interviewing you. It also belies the notion that brain injured people can't do anything "normally". The truth is they may not be able to do some things as well as others, but depending on the injury they can probably work.

Besides, what is "normal" when it comes to employees? I think that question comes to the table once brain injury enters the picture. Because there isn't sufficient language to talk about it. Without brain injury as a consideration, the question is more about a job being a "good fit". 

With brain injury parts of the mind don't work as well as they used to. I have told people that brain injury is like dropping your computer on the ground, plugging it back in and expecting it to work right again. You can't say that to a potential employer. But as survivors we almost need our employers to realize that. And mostly that it could be trial and error in a job before we can say it is a good fit. Who is willing to take time with trial and error? I like to think some people out there are.

I did have one boss who could see something was wrong. But he learned to give me certain kinds of tasks over others. And kept me on because what I was able to do was done so well. He was a very intelligent and sensitive person. He told me all of this during my exit interview. Another boss told me the same thing a few years prior. So there are sensitive people out there. It's just a matter of finding them.

The truth is a brain injured person is likely to put forth maximum effort. When I was working I had to think through everything twice. It's just that nobody knew how incredibly hard it was compared to how I thought before my car accident. How do you explain that skill in an interview? Constantly checking and double checking your own work is a skill. No one wants to use that skill because of brain injury. But it is still a good one to have. 

I'm sorry you had to face such a shallow question. I hope things go better for you in the next interview.

Footnote: I wish we had advocates who could help us along the way. My state has nothing and it's very disparaging. My local DVR has been practically no help the last twelve years. Except to send me to school. I still have school loans to pay off from it. But I'm certain that is the case for many brain injured people. So I'm not alone...

[Randy]

that is so illegal people are heartless, one of my problems i was not so normal before the accident and now when i find a job the bad periods in my life help me lose it .. and in this economy jobs are scarce thanks for sharing

[David Capps]

Beca... I am very sorry to hear your plight.... can you obtain copies of the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 as amended ... please be sure to ask your elected official for section 508 and sections 504....

Thank you and the best of success TO YOU !!!!!!

DAVE

http://www.battleforhue.com