Accepting My New Self

[Stephanie]

Does anyone on here had a hard time accepting themselves after their injury/accident? I have struggled with this from the get go. It seems to be getting worse. I think this is because I have gone kicking and screaming and refuse to accept I am different. It has been a little over 2 years since my life changed forever. I'm not good at change, and never have been. My partner has helped me a lot with accepting who I am. I just somehow cannot let it go. Parts of me are the old me and parts of me are this stranger living in my body, who I have to get to know eventually. I think the worst part is people asking me when are you going to go back to work or school? Like I should be WAY over this now! Thanks for listening.

[Lukus Oconor]

I am a little over a year into mine, I still wish i have died in my accident but I am trying to accept I think it takes time, people look at me and say you look fine, but I am not I am a mess so they just think i am acting or something everyone I loved disapeared and now I am alone, lets keep each other in our prayers

[Lurdos]

your post is good, I think we all feel this way, we didn't ask for this and no one understands, our doctors are lost when we look to them for help, we hold the key to our own answers and they need to listen to us. Thanks for sharing this

[Angela Betancourt]

It takes great courage for these postings, thank you for sharing your thoughts. My vehicle accident happened on July 31, 2008, so I'm fairly new to the TBI community. While I do empathize with the struggle of accepting this new me, I haven't experienced a low like Lukus has. This makes me sad, and if I could hug you through this computer screen, I would! I have to believe that there is a REASON I came back this way and my husband was killed. It doesn't make sense any other way, and life would be too cruel. While I look for that reason and try to accept the new me, I'm going to make the best of these circumstances and surround myself with loving people.

[Ethan]

it is a journey, one with someone we don't know that well ourselves, I have been so lost but since I have been invovlved with this network I have learned so much and for the first time I think I can make it. With all of you and my Jesus all things are posible

[Stephanie]

Hi Lukus,

There are many times when I wish the car that hit be as a pedestrian would have finished me off. For better or worse I'm here, I know there is a reason I'm here. There have been so many times that I thought suicide was the only answer. Not really wanting to die but, some days I can't handle the emotional pain. Shortly before I was hit I heard the Holy Spirit say "Turn to the right!" When I did slightly there was the car coming towards me. If I hadn't turned I wouldn't be here today. God has turned this accident in many ways into a blessing. Sometimes though it is hard to see it right in front of our eyes. I wouldn't have been able to spend quality time with my special needs nephew on a weekly basis, and help my brother & his wife with him. My rehab eye therapy was literally 2 blocks from their house. In a lot of ways I have learned to slow down. I taught myself how to do HTML code for websites, etc.

I'm glad your here Lukus :o) You are in my prayers. Are you in an area that you can hook up with a support group? That has helped me a lot from time to time. Knowing your not alone I think is the most helpful.

Lukus Oconor said:

I am a little over a year into mine, I still wish i have died in my accident but I am trying to accept I think it takes time, people look at me and say you look fine, but I am not I am a mess so they just think i am acting or something everyone I loved disapeared and now I am alone, lets keep each other in our prayers

[Stephanie]

Angela thanks for your thoughts. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. You have some good advice as far as surrounding yourself with people who love you. I have gotten rid of a lot of relationships that weren't fulfilling. Life is way to short. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Stephanie

Angela Betancourt said:

It takes great courage for these postings, thank you for sharing your thoughts. My vehicle accident happened on July 31, 2008, so I'm fairly new to the TBI community. While I do empathize with the struggle of accepting this new me, I haven't experienced a low like Lukus has. This makes me sad, and if I could hug you through this computer screen, I would! I have to believe that there is a REASON I came back this way and my husband was killed. It doesn't make sense any other way, and life would be too cruel. While I look for that reason and try to accept the new me, I'm going to make the best of these circumstances and surround myself with loving people.

[Stephanie]

Amen Ethan! Jesus is the driver, just has to be something I allow him to do. Take care.

Ethan said:

it is a journey, one with someone we don't know that well ourselves, I have been so lost but since I have been invovlved with this network I have learned so much and for the first time I think I can make it. With all of you and my Jesus all things are posible

[Resa]

its a hard thing to accept, i dont accept it, but i know i better learn too, i think time is big

[Stephanie]

Yes, Indeed. I'm quite stubborn in that area myself. I think bits and pieces I am there...or just when I think I am, I realize I am not :o(

Take care

Resa said:

its a hard thing to accept, i dont accept it, but i know i better learn too, i think time is big

[Marie-Terese]

Hey you all;
Hi from warm and sunny Florida.
I am a 18 year tbis sustained as a passenger in a horrific auto accident similar to you all.
My feelings are shared with you all.
My story is that I do not remember a week before and after the accident and the way I remember my past is like of a character I once read about in a book. It doesn't really seem like it was me, because that person is now died and gone. I am a new person with new likes and dislikes. I have had to learn to grieve for the person I was and lost.
But we are all very special and are like miracles.
Even now they want me to go for behavioral modification cognitive counseling to improve my thinking process.
After my accident in 1991 I had to learn how to walk, talk, and write all over again. I attended five months of TBI day treatment program, enrolled in school. Graduated, got a job. Recieved the 1997 National Employee of the Year for outstanding achievement and progress under the Javit Wagner O'day program. Since then I have lost my job due to post traumatic stress disorder.
People always worried about me committing suicide but my belief is that I am going to do my time here and when the Lord calls me I will be there. But until then I will not hurt myself so my soul isnot trapped here forever.
My success is based on the love of the Lord and my family that has been my support and guidance.
Everyone thought that I should be upset with the driver because they fell asleep at the wheel. But all I have ever done is Love. Love each other, support each other, assist each other with compensation strategies and we will be stronger because of it. Do what makes you happy and feel good. Go to and visit your happy place. Music, children, helping others that are going through a hard time.
When I go out I thank people for working. I just say hi to people and brighten their day. We are all together and what ever I can do to help all of you kids who have just entered the world of traumatic brain injury please do not hesitate to ask. It is my pleasure to embrace this excellent resource for all of us to be success and happy.
Happiness,
Marie-Terese

[Tamara Puffer]

Angela Betancourt said:

It takes great courage for these postings, thank you for sharing your thoughts. My vehicle accident happened on July 31, 2008, so I'm fairly new to the TBI community. While I do empathize with the struggle of accepting this new me, I haven't experienced a low like Lukus has. This makes me sad, and if I could hug you through this computer screen, I would! I have to believe that there is a REASON I came back this way and my husband was killed. It doesn't make sense any other way, and life would be too cruel. While I look for that reason and try to accept the new me, I'm going to make the best of these circumstances and surround myself with loving people.

[Tamara Puffer]

(I don't know if I'm doing this right.) I don't think things happen for a reason. Instead I think we need to take whatever happens and go on from there. Have you ever read When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold Kushner? He writes, '..the God I believe in gives strength and courage to those who, unfairly and through no fault of their own, suffer pain and the fear of death." Reading that out of content probably seems wierd. But I think God gives strength for those who suffer the effects of death. Tamara Puffer

Angela Betancourt said:

It takes great courage for these postings, thank you for sharing your thoughts. My vehicle accident happened on July 31, 2008, so I'm fairly new to the TBI community. While I do empathize with the struggle of accepting this new me, I haven't experienced a low like Lukus has. This makes me sad, and if I could hug you through this computer screen, I would! I have to believe that there is a REASON I came back this way and my husband was killed. It doesn't make sense any other way, and life would be too cruel. While I look for that reason and try to accept the new me, I'm going to make the best of these circumstances and surround myself with loving people.